im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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