shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
