Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
