he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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