and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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