We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Are we still banned from the library?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
