the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
