Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize