you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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