You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
