oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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