I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
