I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Ladies don't puke and tell
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
