I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
