my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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