About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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