if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
