I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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