my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
