can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Randomize
