Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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