i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
vagina is talking i cant
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
