Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
