Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
