my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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