Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
