Don't make out with my wife yet
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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