Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
