Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
