I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize