i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
