do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
