i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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