Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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