So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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