I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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