weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I have feelings that need drinking.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
