Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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