you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
