i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Randomize