i don't like sucking hair
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
