Why are handjobs necessary in class?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
