Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Ketchup is God's man juice
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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