i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
