You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I think I just sharted jello shots
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize