the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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