I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Everyone says I win the strip club
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
