You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
im holly from the hills drunk
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
