i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I want her autograph on my taint
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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