What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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