Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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