sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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