so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
