so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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