Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
