get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Randomize
