in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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