There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
