We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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