She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize