So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
