I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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