you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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